my youngest son, "Thing 3," uttered "Grass Oil" to describe what i once made for dinner. what is the Grass Oil blog? my observations about life from my cheap seats where everyone looks like ants. i'm funny, candid and i try to be nice, with some snark for flavor. Grass Oil: simple. random. elegant. there it is. ps – "Things" is a moniker to keep my kids off search engines.
Three short hits of the things I’ve found in the last week to be inspiring, good to know about or worthy of sharing. I got this idea from a loyal fan who liked it when I added some things to Tuesday Morning Press #13 that I felt were worthy of mention. This is for you, AC. xo
1) I have new wiper blades for my car. My new ones are amazing. Sounds funny to talk about wiper blades this way, but they’re very very good and I got them at Target: Rain-X Latitude replacement blades. They were $17 apiece and it took all of two minutes to install them. Yesterday it rained cats, dogs, mice and cows and they performed beautifully. They wiped the cows off my windshield with nary a moo squeak. http://www.rainx.com/product/wiper-blades/rain-x-latitude/#.UQnruKX8JlY
2) My hair color. In a box. I can’t spare two hours much less $100 every four weeks, so I spare 45 minutes and $10 every four weeks instead. Garnier (I didn’t know it was a L’Oreal company until I played the logo game on my iPad — curse you, logo game!) Nutrisse permanent color. It goes on thick, it doesn’t drip, I didn’t smell like a chemical plant when I was finished and the color is very rich but not heavy. I don’t know why they picked horseface Sarah Jessica Parker to be their celebrity spokesbabe when the witty, wry and admirable Tina Fey was clearly a superior choice, but they’re a French company, so there’s that. http://www.garnierusa.com/_en/_us/our_products/range-haircolor.aspx?tpcode=OUR_PRODUCTS^PRD_HAIRCOLOR^NUTRISSE^NUTRISSE_HOME
3) This video. I love the power of love and how it can transform. My sister-in-law sent it to me last night when I was trying to pick a third thing to share and all of a sudden, this popped in my email inbox. Enjoy. Grab a hankie. I guess I love serendipity too.
So after watching that, go on ya big lug, be awesome.
ps – didja see yesterday’s rant on antibacterial soaps? check it. next up: tomorrow… Fiction Friday. February’s posts will be about loooooove (or something relatedly like that). Get ready!
People of earth; regular day-to-day, non-medical personnel or police personnel:
PLEASE. PLEASE stop using antibacterial soaps and antibacterial household cleaners. I’m not trying to scare both of you, but here’s the truth:
Do you know what’s happening because of our country’s planet’s truly bizarre and scary obsession with germs? We are getting sicker and the antibiotics we’re taking aren’t working. As a result, they’re going to the gym, working out and meeting other germs and rocking the hell out of us with their SuperGerms. MRSA, anyone? Read on.
this is your body after using antibacterial soaps. this is a clinical, actual microscopic slide. the germs are called fauxgerms and they are all over my iPad.
You know, how when you exercise too much, you get worn down? Or if you eat the same foods, you get sick of them or you can develop intolerances to them? Or how if you wash your hands all the time (that’s one thing) but unnecessarily with antibacterial soap that you end up putting its tricolsan in the water supply and the environment and what happens when you keep doing that? You’re basically telling the germs you love them. The germs and bacteria don’t need to go to the gym to workout and meet others, because what we’re doing is killing off the common bacterial we can handle and that is good for us (ever heard of the word, “probiotic” or “good bacteria”? — it’s true… there are bacteria that are good for us…) and that these soaps don’t know the difference between good and bad bacteria, just like your adrenal glands don’t know the difference between good stress (YAY! WE WON THE LOTTERY!) and bad stress (CRAP! WE HAVE TO DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!) and they end up secreting waaaaaay too much cortisol which makes you fat around your organs and your belly…? (The cortisol thing is a topic for another post — I know too much about this stuff.)
The point is: wash your hands with regular soap and regular water. Just do it. Regular soap removes everything you don’t need on your hands exactly as it should. If you don’t work in a hospital or medical office or in an ambulance or police station or health clinic or dentist’s office or school clinic:
LAY OFF THE ANTIBACTERIAL SOAP.
Just leave it alone. Leave it for the doctors. Leave it for the EMTs for the nurses, for the dentists for the people who actually need it. Good God just leave it alone. The execs at the antibacterial soap manufacturers? They don’t care. They want to scare the hell out of you to get you to buy it. They want you to line their pockets with gold so they can build their panic rooms and safe houses to keep you away from them when all bacterial hell breaks loose. Trust me: they don’t care about you.
Watch this… it will illustrate it humorously:
Eat off the floor. Increase the 5-second rule to 10, you will live better for it! TRUTH.
I realize I can’t moanandgroan about this without providing solutions: use Ivory, Dove, Method, even softsoap makes a regular soap now, I think it’s called “SoftClean” or something ridiculously brand-specific like that. Bath and Body Works are some of the worst? best? most active promoters of the antibacsoaps. They make them smell like fruit salads so you think you’re cleaner but you’re not; you’re hurting yourself and the rest of us. DON’T BUY THEM.
A nurse friend of mine commented on my FB page about hand-washing, that actually all any soap does is loosen the dirt, etc. The hand-rubbing and chlorinated water usually do the trick. Live on well water? Same thing. YOU WILL LIVE. Probably better than you do now if you toss the antibacsoaps.
As a blogger friend said to me today, “the germophobes are going to kill us all; as if the Howie Mandels of the world are the predominant normal people.”
don’t be afraid, just be smart. stop using this stuff. please. i drew this.
Don’t go all boo-hoo on me either. I hail from a long proud and stubborn line of clinically diagnosed and treated Obsessive Compulsives, so don’t tell me I’m making fun or being insensitive to those with OCD. I’m NOT. I’m just one person, who’s been unable to shake a cold for the last 4 weeks and who’s watched every single one of her kids go down for illnesses they should have been able to beat but probably couldn’t because their schools are loaded with antibacterial soaps. In the past month my sons have come down with strep and today, Scarlet fever (which is strep, I know that) but this is NUTS… they we never get sick here. Truly very seldom.
Think I’m full of crap? Go here (data from an environmental ONCOLOGY — you know: “CANCER” center):
“Antibacterial soap and disinfectants may contain triclosan or other active ingredients classified by the EPA as pesticides. Studies by government scientists have shown that regular use of antibacterial soap allows bacteria to become resistant to them and can irritate the skin, especially the skin of infants and children. In fact, in 2005, an FDA panel, in an 11 to 1 vote, warned that popular mass-marketed antibacterial soaps and washes showed no evidence of preventing infections more effectively than hand washing with regular soap.
The FDA asked for the panel’s advice because of concerns that common antimicrobial agents used in the soaps, such as triclosan and triclocarban, that can also be found in products ranging from deodorants to plastics, accumulate in groundwater and soil. As they build up in the environment, these chemicals could eventually contaminate drinking water and farmed food. This could give rise to potentially dangerous resistant bacteria.
Several experts caution that even the potential risk of resistance may not be worth continued mass marketing of soaps that have no proven benefit to consumers. Drug-resistant bacteria are considered a major health threat by public health experts. Some strains, including S. aureus (staph), have shown increased levels of resistance to multiple antibiotics. The safest solution is to wash your hands frequently for 15 seconds at a time with warm soapy water and using paper towels or air drying to avoid transmitting infections.”
“You know when your doctor prescribed a course of antibiotics and told you to take the entire prescription? You really should’ve listened. Thanks to millions of misused antibiotic prescriptions worldwide (how many half-empty bottles are in your medicine cabinet right now?), the bacteria you intend to kill are getting stronger. In fact, some bacteria — like the MRSA superbug — are immune to select antibiotics.”
“Tuberculosis, food poisoning, cholera, pneumonia, strep throat and meningitis: these are just a few of the unsavory diseases caused by bacteria. Hygiene—keeping both home and body clean—is one of the best ways to curb the spread of bacterial infections, but lately consumers are getting the message that washing with regular soap is insufficient. Antibacterial products have never been so popular. Body soaps, household cleaners, sponges, even mattresses and lip glosses are now packing bacteria-killing ingredients, and scientists question what place, if any, these chemicals have in the daily routines of healthy.”
… Unlike these traditional cleaners, antibacterial products leave surface residues, creating conditions that may foster the development of resistant bacteria, Levy notes. For example, after spraying and wiping an antibacterial cleaner over a kitchen counter, active chemicals linger behind and continue to kill bacteria, but not necessarily all of them.
When a bacterial population is placed under a stressor—such as an antibacterial chemical—a small subpopulation armed with special defense mechanisms can develop. These lineages survive and reproduce as their weaker relatives perish. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is the governing maxim here, as antibacterial chemicals select for bacteria that endure their presence.”
I could go on and on and on and on about this; but I won’t. I will tell you this: core ice samples of the arctic circle several thousand feet below have discovered super-old (that’s a scientific term) bacterial samples that you don’t even want to think about. When those glacier start to melt, I mean reeeeeeally melt, the stuff that’s gonna hit the water… and it will be different, is all I can say. I can’t judge, and there’s no way to suggest that they would be viable when they reintroduce themselves to the water systems, but… Maybe we’ll all (times 15 generations) be dead by then, but the point is: if we’re not… I’m not sure I wanna be around then. Scientists aren’t suggesting another plague or “The Andromeda Strain” and there’s nothing we can do about any of that so let’s do something we can do something about: let’s get on the side of the good germs, the probiotics and treat our antibiotics with care and for the love of all that is good, decent and correct in this world: just STOP using the antibacterial soaps and household cleaners. JUST STOP. You’re MAKING it WORSE. Don’t put them in the toilet, just stop using them.
ps – onetwothree four more things: 1) chill out on the need for antibiotics. Chances are you don’t need them and neither does your kid. 2) Chill out on the tylenol and fever reducers: I am also not too quick to treat a fever unless my child is in pain or discomfort. If we bring down a fever too fast, the body can’t burn up the virus. People are loopy. Let the body do his or her AMAZING work. We’ve survived this long… we can do this ourselves. 3) Oh, and eat more yogurt or Kefir. And greens! 🙂 and 4) Do you know someone with a uterus? Is she moody sometimes and doesn’t know why? Maybe reading this will help: Living and Thriving with PMDD
But, it’s time for school to start again. Let me explain: in our burg, the kids get 2 days off from school for the end of the quarter so the teachers can get their grades in. That has meant for a very long weekend. I’ve been sick… the trifection is finally going away. I’m ready for the boys to go back to school. Only five more months until summer vacation y’all.
Yes, my Tuesday Morning Press normally posts in the morning between when I drop off the boys at school and go to yoga; but I’ve been sick so I’ve been posting whenever I get the time … but they’re still on Tuesdays. But no yoga yet. Next week.
Along with me being sick, my middle, my mini me, Thing 2 celebrated his 12th birthday with a raging sinus infection as well. Poor guy, when he blew his nose, it sounded like a sound effect for a thunderstorm off in the distance or one that you’d hear out of an iPhone or something. He’s on the mend now, playing basketball outside with the neighbors as I type. It’s a beautiful 64˚ day here. I would be all over that except that it’s January. The last few birthdays of his we had snow, lots of it, so this mid-60s thing is throwing me off.
It’s called an “iPod touch” … say it wrong and I’ll mock you. This pic is from the Apple site.
Speaking of iStuff, we got him an iPod touch for his birthday. It’s called an “iPod TOUCH” not an iTouch. or itouch, which just sounds freakin’ creepy when you think about it. Every time someone says, “itouch” I can’t help but follow up with “myself” either very quietly where only I can hear it or I cough it. Doesn’t everyone coughspeak to veil their derision? Oh. My mistake.
Last week, I wrote about Adam Levine hosting SNL and my devotion to him. I don’t recant my devotion, but I don’t think I’ll ever be getting excited for him to host again. I had my suspicions, I’ll admit. He seems rather one-dimensional and even though wildly talented and very attractive smokin’ hot in his videos, he’s not ready in the least for live broadcasts on television in a comedy setting. Give the man a mic, his band, smoke, pulsing lights and a stage and we’re good… just don’t give him a cue card or a script. It was baaaaad. I almost feel sorry for him, to have to rely on his sexuality only to garner favor or attention. (That was almost funny.) Look, I’m no hypocrite, but when Bruno Mars or Justin Timberlake or Taylor Swift hosted, it was brilliant; they have comedy chops and each of them took advantage of the ensemble aspect of the show. Not Adam… he was like a rock with a voice. Ok… not a rock… a cat who talks. He couldn’t deal. The bright spot of the show was the digital short which brilliantly spoofed and waxed ironic of the Generation OMG/meme’s “YOLO” battle cry. YOLO stands for “You Only Live Once” and the video was a cautionary tale / ironic spin on the idiocy of doing stupid stuff just because you’re young. Adam’s singing on the video was excellent, no surprise there, and he was bolstered by “The Lonely Island” a comedy trio made up of Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and SNL alum Andy Samberg. Also in the video was Danny McBride, and Kendrick Lamar who was also the musical guest that night. The video is great — it mocks (for me) the most ridiculously stupid saying I’ve ever heard…
Here’s hoping YOLO is dead and buried.
Another FANTASTIC moment was the Firehouse Fundraiser skit… Bill Hader is a GENIUS…. partake:
And as you can see, Adam did nothing for the skit.
Enough about Adam. More about me. What am I reading these days? I’m so glad you asked! I am in the midst of reading Triburbia which is a series of character vignettes about New York City dads who meet every morning for coffee after taking their kids to school. I can’t do it justice, yet, because I’m still reading it, but eventually (and I’m seeing it now) the characters will be tied together. So far, the pieces are excellently written, showcasing the author’s deft ability to wear many hats and easily reflect ironic along with a host of other talents I can’t wait to explore. I am not from NYC, where the stories take place, but I’m savvy to the many personality / money types he’s installed in the book. So far, I’m staying up waaaay too late reading it. One of his current characters, Brooke, reminded me (and likely ONLY me) of a super-rich Esther Greenwood (from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar). Perhaps one of the best parts of this book is that I’m re-learning words I used to know.
I also recently read a couple eBooks which I’d love to recommend but I won’t. I am not going to mention them because I don’t want to be That Person, and we are a small community but suffice it to say, that the technology that enables eBook writing doesn’t necessarily mean it should give persons license to actually do so. That’s a lot coming from me, one who wants to publish a book one day, but rather than be turned off by all the not-ready-for-consumption stuff out there, I’m going to be inspired and buoyed, by say, Triburbia, Life of Pi, and some Hemingway. I also downloaded Les Miserables, which I want to read next. See you in November… it’s only 1,000 pages.
Did you see my post last week about my favorite movie lines? I recalled mostly by memory but double checked for accuracy 35 lines from 35 films. These aren’t the famous lines… so see how accurate you can be.
I have been dealing with this trifection long enough. Yesterday, at the urging of friends and my own fear, I went to the local urgent care facility which I have to say reminds me a lot of a very nice prescription-writing office. I was afraid I had or was beginning to show signs of pneumonia, but I’m good — my “pulse oximeter” reading from a tiny device that clips to my index finger was 100, which the highest we can get. So that’s good. What wasn’t so great was the doctor’s readiness to write me a prescription for another antibiotic, Levaquin (which is the strongest there is apparently) because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t really sick. If my pulse ox is excellent and my ears and everything else look good but no fever is present… why give me the script? I dunno. She also gave me a script for an inhaler (THANK YOU SWEET MOTHER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN), which has made all the difference. Despite my personal leanings for homeopathic and holistic meds, this inhaler… it’s like plugging in a refrigerator versus using an old-fashioned ice box.
I can’t believe I almost stole these by accident.
So when we were at Target the other day getting Thing 2’s antibiotics, I almost shoplifted by accident. I have been so tired from all the blahs and the kids being home and reading too late and writing (it’s all good stuff I’m doing but I’m in denial that actual life happens around here) we were told that we had to come back for his stuff because his pediatrician didn’t fill in the proper amount to dose him appropriately. So I almost walked out with a pair of reading glasses. Not even totally necessary ones… +1s. Why couldn’t it have been something more scandalous, like some Dexatrim (do they still make that?) or a bottle box of wine or a copy of “Playgirl”? Reading glasses? REALLY? That was a personal low point. I can’t even accidentally shoplift well.
Have you been following my Friday Fiction at all? Don’t worry, my husband doesn’t. I got the LOWEST hits ever last Friday. If you hate it, please tell me. I can go back to being irreverent or post recipes and all that; truth of the matter, I’ve been ill and exhausted (that’s fancy talk for sick and tired) and if it weren’t for the fiction, I’d likely not be posting much at all. If you’ve been reading, thank you! If not… check out what the what’s going on… Garret is like, totally screwed up. When I first wrote that post I HATED IT WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BEING. I thought, “how can I write such shit CRAP?” but I’m actually warming up to it now. For February (yes, I’m staying at it, so deal), we are writing our fiction with romance in mind… or love … what we kill do for love or what we don’t do for love. So this Friday, as in all Fridays so far this year, I’m letting these stories tell me how they wish to be told. I’m not in charge of this track… I’m just throwing coals in the engine. This train goes all by itself. Do you thknk I
But I plan to be back at it this week, swinging at flies and being irreverent and mindful and honest as usual. Be forewarned… I’m on an inhaler now.
I have mine; you have yours. Maybe some of mine will remind you of some of yours.
There is no way I can include them all, but these are the ones that I love most of the time, because I remember them so often. I picked the lines I did because I they are more obscure than the more popular lines and I am hopeful that when you read them, you’ll be taken back to your favorite moment in the film. Without further ado, in no particular order:
We’ve come for your daughter, Chuck.
Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Throw me the idol, I give you the whip.
This town needs an enema!
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.
We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
They fuck you at the drive-thru!
This house is clean.
This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.
I wish we could just run away.
I’ve never seen sugar do that.
There are some who call me … Tim?
I don’t know, Sparks. But I guess I’d say if it is just us… seems like an awful waste of space.
Listen, I haven’t got a lot of time, but if you love your country, if you’re a patriot, you’ll listen and you’ll listen hard. I’ve got to get to a phone and you gotta make a call.
How much you wanna bet I can throw this football over them mountains?
Once you have a man with no legs, you never go back, baby.
I think this boy’s cheese has done slid off his cracker.
Eunice? There’s a person named Eunice?
But why is the rum gone?
My problem is that it’s 2 A.M. My problem is I’m asleep. I’m on a tour bus with eight stinkin’ men. Rule number one: Don’t propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don’t tell her it’s because you had a bad dream.
That’s the beauty of it. I wake up one day, I don’t know where I’m gonna’ end up or who I’m gonna’ meet.
The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end.
Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.
You killed the car.
There’s your Chinaman, Fred.
Well, man from health department say he find rat pellet in pastry but I say no, is big chocolate sprinkle, but he shut store down. So we clean up, make big cookie for to bring customers back.
You, ‘Flock of Seagulls,’ you know why we’re here? Why don’t you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at?
I love my dead gay son.
There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
And this lamp… that’s all I need.
Here’s to swimming with bow-legged women.
Put a sock in it, boy, or else you’ll be outta here like shit through a goose.
Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit!
The only way somebody would get that would be to chop off my – finger. Let’s go down to the garden and find out what’s buried there.
Young, young man. Did anyone ever tell you you look like a young prince out of the ‘Arabian Nights’?
Can you name the movies? Here are the answers…
Raider of the Lost Ark
Batman (Tim Burton)
Beverly Hills Cop
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
The Great Gatsby
Men in Black
Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Green Mile
What’s Up Doc?
Pirates of the Caribbean
Walk the Line
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
The Princess Bride
Streetcar Named Desire
This list isn’t exhaustive of my favorite movies, but they are all favorites. My favorite on the list? Impossible to decide. But the one that makes my whole family including the surly teenager laugh is “What’s Up Doc?” You can’t go wrong, ever with that one. And the clothes? Oh! To die for.