I just had the best smoothie ever. I make them myself. Usually I add protein powder, but I forgot to today. I was too excited to make it. We have all this fresh baby spinach and strawberries and pineapple that I cut up yesterday.

I was excited because we got a new blender, the NINJA (which is not silent, trust me, it just has a ton of blades) and it comes with these individual blender cups that are (open your throat and inhale to begin an aria a lá Jim Carrey): FAN-TAAAAAAS-TIC! The smoothie is gone now. You would’ve loved it. We have the Ninja Ultra Kitchen System 1200 (LMMOP123ABC). That’s the one with the personal cups.

Here’s what I put in it:

1 cup spinach leaves

1 cup strawberries

1 tbsp honey

1 tbsp flax oil (you have to have fat in your diet…) — or avocado oil, which is almost tasteless

1/4 cup pineapple

1/4 cup vanilla greek yogurt

1/4 cup water

ice

As you can see from the picture above, it was amazeballs.

Now I’m feeling all zippy. True story.

Writing last night helped me unblock some stuff. I wrote on the heels of a conference call I was on with some spiritual teachers who work with Angels. Look, I’m coming out about this: I’m into it all: energy healing,  Divine Guidance, I am into trying to listen to my intuition and my inner self. I am into God and how He works in the most amazing ways. Here’s what I’ll never do: suffocate you with it.

Anyway, the call was great but it was also a LOT of content. It was all about discernment and how we need to listen to messages and feel emotions that take us in a FORWARD direction and not back. Anything in reverse, is not Divine; anything that keeps us low, too much thinking, too much heaviness, too much “stuck” is not Divine. It’s along the lines, but so much more than the glib, “If it feels good, keep doing it” because we all know how that can get misinterpreted. Here’s me: if it feels good when you’re doing it, keep doing it. And when you’re done, several hours or days later, if it still feels good and makes you smile, and you’re not barfing or saying “I’m sorry, it’ll never happen again” and you’re looking for your keys, you SWEAR you had your keys Right There In That Box! when you were feeling good, then you may resume. Otherwise, you’re on the wrong bus.

I felt so validated this morning after writing here last night after that call, just expressing myself and expressing me expressing myself (meta!) that I woke up with this thought in my head:

When you stop trying to figure out who are you supposed to be, you can become who you really are.

^^I just typed that without any typos without looking at the keyboard. I was reading what I wrote when I woke up. That’s another indication to me anyhow, that I’m heading in the right direction.^^

So yeah. Angels. We all have them all around us all the time. We may as well get used to them and let them help us help ourselves. If it feels good and grows you, keep doing it. Who are the Angel people I’m talking to? Melissa Kitto and Richard Lassiter at “http://www.communicatewithangels.com” and they’re super nice, natch, but they’re also candid and firm in helping you understand what you need to know. One of the things Richard said last night, which is something I’ve been struggling with for quite some time now, is “the familiar.”

We all say we don’t want drama. But how likely are we to (re)create it without even knowing? Another thing Melissa said last night cut right through me: We are not made to suffer here on Earth. When we are suffering, it’s a signal to try something else. She asked of the group: “Am I possessive of my bad habits?”

I gulped.

How more likely are we to recall a miserable moment in our lives rather than a happier one?

Yeah. That. Feeling low shouldn’t be our predominating disposition. Feeling light and free is our set point. We just picked up bad habits from when we were wee. WE DID. I’m not blaming, I’m just saying, ya gotta learn it somewhere. Which makes me freak a little because I want to help my kids steer to and stay in happier places than places of doubt and anxiety.

Letting go of what’s familiar: letting go of the POSSESSION of / IDENTIFICATION with the bad habit because that’s what’s holding me back. Sometimes we hang on to the concept of the habit because it’s what we know, at least… it’s still a buffer from our true reality which is: freedom and happiness. It’s so easy to simply switch the gears and think about good things. But it’s a conscious decision we MUST make to do in order to do two things: make the happy thoughts the habit and undo the unconscious inverse which is the low energy. It’s a choice. It’s not so much Pollyanna; it’s deciding to not let the negativity corrode your spirit. Who wants that??

Richard asked later on the call: How do we know we are connecting with our spirit?

He answered: What brings you joy? What do you love most? What activity causes you to lose time? What causes you to ask: “Where has the day gone?” That is your place. That is your calling. That is your joy. That is your bliss.

For me, I owned it: it’s writing. It’s writing what’s in my head at the moment and my life. It’s sharing, connecting with my spirit and being of service and being with other people who bring me joy. There is no other way for me to REALLY lose time.

I also lose time when I’m playing — anything: with the kids, on a tennis court, in a rowing shell, running with my dog(s). Joking around and dancing. I lose time then. I even lose time folding laundry if something worthless is on TV like any of the Real Housewives… practicing yoga too. I think I lose time teaching yoga, but I have to be mindful of the time because people have lives.

The point is: be still, ask yourself some questions and treat yourself to your calling. See how amazing it is.

About laundry… I’ve decided though that my epitaph should read: “She died trying to find the match for that sock…”

So about discernment: Is what I’m feeling at this moment my actual and authentic feeling, or is a projection of someone else’s? Something I picked up unconsciously when I was a very young child?

How about you? Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever had a great idea, one that lifts you up and makes you smile (likely your angels telling you you’re on to something) and then a few hours later you’re stifled by doubt? You don’t think you can do it? You have to figure out logistics? That’s what they’re talking about — listen to the happy idea and then let the logistical part help you organize the steps to accomplish it. Don’t toss out the good idea. Don’t listen to the doubt, listen to the need for organization.

About feelings: are they truly yours or are they learned? Name the feeling: that helps to neutralize it a bit and you can dissect it then. So let’s say it’s a learned feeling / reaction. Then ask yourself: If it’s not me then is it (the feeling) something I need to be aware of? And if it’s not bringing me joy, and not helping me be of service (while also minding my own business) then I need to redirect and figure out how it can be purer, better, higher energy. That higher energy is what Melissa and Richard term “regaining that pivot point to master the lessons we are here to learn.”

So I wrote here after that call. I felt cleaner and lighter. More allowing of myself and then I went to bed and slept like a puppy. Never say “I slept like a baby.” Because we all know they don’t sleep. They don’t. Well, my babies didn’t sleep like puppies. They slept like babies. Y’see my point?

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With all the snow the last few days, I watched two Oscar-nominated films back-to-back. I’m usually quite late to the party. Being a mom of three boys, two dogs, two cats, a wife and now yogini is a bit time-consuming.

The first film, “Gravity” was one I waited on because I wasn’t ready to see it so soon after Mom died. I am glad I waited, and I’ll likely watch it again and again because it’s layers-deep stuff and so visually beautiful. I won’t give anything away other than to say, letting go (here I go again) is so helpful. We can’t take in new and better if we hang on to old and harmful: there is no space in our hands. We have to let go.

The other film, “Nebraska” was equally amazing, for completely different and similar reasons. Who doesn’t want to be relevant to someone else? The story is both subtle and in your face and its being filmed in black and white helped keep the tempo steady and ironic. It charmed me and kept me curious about what would happen next, did he actually win the million dollars? I wondered — I threw the main character a bone: maybe he’s right! The thing is: we all get old, if we’re lucky. We all want a moment in the moonlight. Don’t we? Own it. Nebraska was a powerful film about family, intention, relevance, greed, and our fight with the clock. The ending was simply elegant.

On some levels, Nebraska reminded me of my mom, and her deep-seated interest in being relevant. It colored all her actions. She had a captive and mutually interested audience of three little kids. Sometimes we completely miss what’s right in front of us. It also reminded me of my dad, because he’s aging too and it’s gotta be scary.

So go make yourself a smoothie. The sun is out here, first day of spring 2014, Mother Nature hit it out of the park today. There’s a rumor of more s – – w next week. Winter is on notice. It’s time to move on. 

Thank you.