Daily Archives: October 12, 2012

So These Two Amish Guys Walk into a Bar …

So These Two Amish Guys Walk into a Bar …

No. I’m just messing with you.

Here are some pictures I took while I was in Lancaster County, PA last weekend.

The Amish are cool, but they’re also American which means they love money. I wasn’t charged by any of them for taking these photos, but they know the horse & buggy thing is a good shtick as it keeps us coming back and being all misty-eyed about them and of course, swerving our massive vehicles out of the way of the heaping piles of horse poop which is plentiful on those roads.

I hope you enjoy… I had a nice time off the grid. The next post I write about the auction, I’ll show you what I actually “won” and talk about the rush of adrenaline you get when you start bidding… it’s sorta CRAZY.

I love this shot; these are the teenage girls or young mothers at the auction. The white bonnet (I call it an English muffin) connotes marriage. The girls without the bonnet are unmarried.
I try not to capture anyone’s eyes, as I believe they are windows to the soul, and so when it comes to people who are unaware of what I’m doing, I endeavor to show respect.

Clearly they were captivated by whatever was going on. I just don’t know what. The constant hairstyle that the women must wear: the twisting of the hair from the forehead, along the temples and into a bun in the back, is a lifelong ‘do. Over time, its unrelenting, repeated tugs and pulls on the roots do damage to the follicle and which eventually kill the regrowth. It’s a bummer.

This little guy. I loved watching him. He was so sweet and real. He was looking at some toys at the auction. All the boys wear those straw hats starting at a very young age – I think as soon as their hair starts to grow longer than one inch. They wear the hats into adulthood. My kids wouldn’t put up with that hat wearin’ bidness… I wonder how they do it. The children all seem content and cheerful, not abused or sullen.

They cook tons of chicken all day at these events and it’s quite the ordeal. Clearly this guy got away with not wearing his hat. Along with this, they sell homemade fresh-churned ice cream, pretzels and whoopie pies. Never had a whoopie pie? You haven’t lived.

Ironic isn’t it? A horse-drawn tiller alongside a row of massive power towers. I took this pic from the window of a moving vehicle and I have to say I like the effect in the foreground: movement and energy. Sometimes I have to agree: The Amish are on to something.

The mothers are constantly after the children at these events. This isn’t a great picture of this woman, I couldn’t get a really good one, but she was STUNNING in comparison to a lot of the other Amish women I saw at this event. Her dark features and muscle tone were unlike any other woman’s there. (And she clearly plucks her eyebrows… that must’ve been what caught me off guard… and now that I scrutinize it further, it looks like her hair is slightly parted on the side and NOT twisted! She must be an import from Wisconsin or something.)

This “Vanna White” of the Amish auction is part of the younger set and he’s learning the ropes from his elders at the live plant auction. You can get a 10′ magnolia grandiflora for $50.

And occasionally you see the local “English” (non-Amish) people mingle with the Amish. The funny thing is: I’ve seen an Amish man on an iPhone, but he doesn’t own it. I’ve seen one in a car, but he doesn’t drive or own it. The lines, it seems, become increasingly blurred on what constitutes English living…

So sweet. These two were nuzzling in the morning chill. I couldn’t help myself. PULL OVER! I shouted at RICK!. She complied.

You could buy a box of peppers. Probably cost you $2 for all of these.

Yes, they are chickens. Just hanging out. B-b-b-bcaaaw! b-CAAAW! They escaped the barbecue.

This is a typical Amish farm. They span for acres and they grow everything from tobacco to peanuts. When a family member gets married, they just build an addition and the newlyweds move in with the family. I’m unclear on who goes where…

I hope this post and these photos inspire you to relax this weekend if you can. Unplug, sit back, read a book, listen to some music and breathe.

Thank you for sticking around… Truly.