30 Days of Wisdom — Day 5: When Your Name is Safe In Someone’s Mouth


I can’t make these things up. Today is Day 5 of 30 Days of Wisdom per Goodreads.

Here is today’s quote (and I will say right now and likely again during this series that sometimes the quotes make no sense):

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
― Jess C. Scott, The Intern
tags: desire, emotion, friendship, honesty, imagination, individuality, life, love, passion, reality, relationships,romance, truth, wisdom, wise-words 10824 likes

First, I will try to ignore the use of “they” and “their” in a book about when one person loves another. They and their are plural.

It’s one of those things that BUGS THE CRAP out of me, but it’s how we all speak these days. In speaking, I can understand it better than when using it in writing when a writer has time to read, edit, fix and present it.

Onward: I guess it makes sense. I have heard my name said by people who have treated me well, and by people who have not treated me well, and I think what Scott is saying actually sounds true.

I had a friend who used to say my name, reader, in the middle of a sentence, like how a mother would, to remind you, reader, that you are being spoken to and that you should pay attention, reader, to what you’re being told.

She was bossy and an old soul, like 80-year-old pissed grandma old. Super bossy and super judgey and we don’t speak anymore. I couldn’t handle it.

I have friends who don’t even say my name. I wonder what’s that all about. I say peoples’ names, when it feels organic; I like to do that because I like to be deliberate in what I’m saying or clear when in a group. I’m not like a robot though.

Another person I know says my name in a way that makes me feel like I just fell down and need help getting up.

I had teachers who respected me and who said my name in a collegial and respectful way; it worked: I liked performing and working for them. I had other teachers who disliked their jobs and lumped my name in with that entire vibe and I disliked being in the room with them. One teacher, my home-ec teacher leeched alcohol and I consistently disappointed her with my rogue-going.

I’m curious about this book, The Intern.

It’s Young Adult fiction. I think I’ll pass.

But here’s the blurb

* Book #1 (Lust) in Jess C Scott’s Sins07 “seven deadly sins” series—a teenage version of Dirty Dancing meets Punk’d.

17-year-old Suzie Q, smart kid and closet dance enthusiast, travels with a classmate to a world-class city for an internship program. She finds herself undeniably attracted to the suave hip-hop instructor, Jo.Zee, who recruits her into a dance fitness DVD he is producing. When Suzie sees (or thinks she sees) the real Jo.Zee, she must decide if she will trust him…or her instincts.

Genre: Contemporary Fiction / YA with adult crossover appeal

* SINS07 is a series featuring lighthearted tales that explore each of the seven sins in order, beginning with lust.(less)

I’m guessing that Suzie Q. (wow, that’s imaginative) doesn’t feel her name sounds safe when it comes out of Jo.Zee’s mouth.

I have to stop now.

This quote had potential when it was taken out of context. Now that it’s suddenly in context, it’s hard for me to stomach.

I need a cracker.

The point is that I get what the writer is saying: you can listen to the tone of how your name is stated. You can close your eyes and hear it. You can replay it and notice how you feel when you hear it. Do you feel safe when you hear it? Does it make you want to hear it more from that person? That’s inner wisdom, that’s worth paying attention to — that’s the seat of intuition.

Try it… it could be revealing.

Thank you.

About Grass Oil by Molly Field

follow me on twitter @mollyfieldtweet. i'm working on a memoir and i've written two books thus unpublished because i'm a scaredy cat. i hail from a Eugene O'Neill play and an Augusten Burroughs novel but i'm a married, sober straight mom. i write about parenting, mindfulness, irony, personal growth and other mysteries vividly with a bit of humor. "Grass Oil" comes from my son's description of dinner i made one night. the content of the blog is random, simple, funny and clever. stop by, it would be nice to get to know you. :)

8 responses »

  1. I find this quote amusing because I think the people who love you most sometimes are the people who get the most mad at you and say your name in the worst way! I guess the writer is referring to that time period when you first fall in love. The direction you took the quote in makes more sense. Lot’s of laughing over that book description!

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