Tag Archives: bloggers

Apr4

There’s A Gift in this Somewhere… I Need to Be Wrapped in Caution Tape

Posted on April 4, 2014 by Grass Oil by Molly Field

I don’t know where to start.

I put on make-up this morning after I dried my hair and put on a top with buttons and pants with a zipper.

About twenty minutes after that I got a call from my husband, “You can cook that chicken for dinner or something; I read that re-freezing meats won’t be unsafe, but it might affect their flavor, so we don’t need to worry about food safety.”

Wha—?

Someone left the freezer open. Suppress nausea.

I woke this morning from a rather crazy dream, likely induced by the eight sessions of yoga I have either taught or attended in the last five days. In all of those, I’ve only had the gift of svasana, final relaxation pose, thrice. And of those three times, I’d say I truly let go …. oh, not at all.

In the dream, I stepped outside my childhood home to an evening late-season snow flurry; about four inches had accumulated and it was a collection of glorious frozen fluff. Just like the last time it snowed as such here, I was making a snow angel, in my house clothes, because I knew it would likely be the last downy fall in months, if not years.

In the dream, a pack of marauding pubescent boys, with their straight-brim baseball hats, enormous unlaced high-top shoes that reminded me of puppy feet, skinny jeans, hoodies and tshirts emblazoned with a lá mode and self-aggrandizing slogans were pimp-rolling (apologies to Tom Wolfe) my way. I’m not sure what my issue was with this band of boys, but I wasn’t threatened. I was feeling more defiant than they thought they were. I was ready to raise the bar on their perceived bad-assness. I was ready to wait and see.

Then I woke up to the sound of my alarm, a song by a Scandinavian band called “Jonsi & Alex” which plays primarily atmospheric music. I was completely disoriented. I think the song was “Howl.”

The pack of youth is clearly one of my sons. He’s testing me and his father a lot these days. I won’t go into it because it’s his story to tell and hopefully overcome, but let’s just say that he loves expensive sneakers and doesn’t know who he is yet. I can’t blame him for the latter because I’m not sure who I am and certainly I love shoes as well, but I wondered, at times like these after I changed back into shapeless clothing and my old slippers and put my freshly washed and blown-out hair into a pony tail so I could gut from the freezer about 100 pounds of bagels, waffles, english muffins, vegetables, fruit, NO!!! NOT THE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!!!, orange juice, pink lemonade, raviolis, tortellinis, sweet potato fries, quesadillas… you name it. I wondered about a lot of things.

The freezer looked like crime scene. I needed caution tape wrapped around me because I was unhinged. Bag after bag after bag. I missed my husband who is at his desk during this moment because I know we would’ve had a fun time; we would’ve made lemonade instead of grousing about throwing it out.

I was thinking of a post Wednesday, “Where’s My Svasana?” because I’d taught yoga four times by that point and had only had experienced my own coached “lie down” twice. I laughed at the idea of that post this morning, nay, ten minutes ago when I was wiping down the blood bath of my freezer. I am sure I was exposed to salmonella, streptococcus, botulism, ptomaine, influenza and who knows what the what all the while as I wiped down the ~~juices~~ blood of the meats I was discarding. There is one truth to this that I suppose is a convenience: it gave me an excuse to unload some food we’d forgotten about or had simply disliked. Probably about $250 worth. Ten sessions of therapy… or fifteen Gap t-shirts.

My cats were crying, “feed me! feed me! the juice on the carpet (yecch) is not enough but it is a huge stimulus to our digestive system. if you don’t feed us, we will go live with the neighbors again….” So I robotically said, “Namafuckingste” (that’s not Sanskrit) to the cats and let the kibble go >tink tink tink tinktinktinktinktinktink< into the shiny steel bowls.

When events like these happen, you are in a Moment of Truth. My Moment ~~says~~, ~~chides~~, hisses, “Was it worth it? That yoga certificate? Feeling IN THE MOMENT right now? Was it worth it? That degree in English and writing? Was it worth it? Those babies you had….?”

No one tells you this ugly secret about parenting: IT’S FUCKING HARD.

Screw the pregnancy, screw the labor, screw the body shape distortion and what the fuck happened to me moments. The lack of sleep. The issues with their health. Behaviors that creep up in yourself, parts of you you never thought were there. Screw it all. That’s the easy part. Parenting shows you your True Nature. It gloats over your weaknesses as it challenges your strengths. Kids? They’re not the culprits. They’re not to blame. It’s us… those of us who’ve never actually grown up. Who still like to blame. Who don’t like the feelings we feel when our kids neeeeeeeeeeeeeed us. Because they’re supposed to.

Currently, there’s a wash of writers who want to blame all their shit on their kids. They can’t get a moment alone, so they blame it on their kids. It’s not the kids. It’s us. It’s the parents. It’s like this: my puppy Charlie. He’s great. He’s huge now, about 40# going on a likely and final 70#. I’m good with that. But he’s a dog, number one. And he’s a dog, number two. When he goes after a sock, a shoe, a jacket, a cat, a pillow, a blanket, a towel, a piece of paper, the newspaper, the garbage, Murphy … is he to blame?

When my kids go after each other, when they leave the freezer door ajar after making a smoothie, when they leave the back door unlocked, when they leave a brand new bike out front over night, when they don’t do their homework, when they trade the shoes you bought them for another pair with some kid at school you don’t know and whose family you’ve never met and your kid doesn’t even have a class with this child and he brings them home and says to you plain as day, “Dad bought me these….” or “Dad said I could …” whose “fault” is that? It’s not my puppy’s, I can tell you that. It’s the job of the parent and of the dog owner to make things right. To train the dog to stay away from the things he shouldn’t have. To ask first. And it’s the job of the parent to UNDERSTAND that KIDS ARE NEEDY. They can’t help it.

I’m grossed out by it all, the rash of parents who act as if they’ve figured it all out; that they deserve a trophy for staying sober or washing their kids’ hair. I know: I’m 117 years old and I have lost my sense of humor. I need to lighten up because exploiting my children’s natural behavior for my gain and popularity is what all the cool kids are doing.

I don’t care. I was never friends with The Bloggess or anyone else who writes tripe like that. I’ll just go on, in my bubble bath of obscurity, with my arms coated in freezer detritus.

And trying to start a business? Teaching yoga, which isn’t easy, especially for all-levels classes because you have no clue as to anyone’s abilities… so you write these lesson plans that might be too aggressive or too easy and you take too long and you wonder if you’re being effective? Some students look at you with blank stares. I guess I do too with my teachers. But they write checks and they come back and they say thank you and they tell you it was great and they enjoyed it… so there’s that. People don’t pay for shit that sucks.

Somewhere along the line, I learned to doubt myself to the point where I think everything I do is not enough. Somewhere along the line, I was told or inspired or encouraged to push myself to the razor’s edge and hang on to that singular fringe, like Sandra Bullock in “Gravity” only to wonder… if I let go… I know I won’t go spinning, because I feel like I already am. But really…

I learned that my best was always beatable. Try harder. Work harder. It’s deeper than work; it’s about survival. It’s about Mom; my mom who died last year. My mom who was so hard to reach. But that’s ancient history, right? And I’m a fully actualized adult. This freezer thing and all my crap is cake. NnnnNnNNnnnnn.

So I make notes after the classes to remind myself of what I forgot. To improve for the next class. Maybe one day it will just flow out of me and I won’t need lists and yoga cards and apps and stuff; that I will intuitively know how to teach a class.

. . . . . .

Somewhere in the weave of that dream I had, the freezer debacle, parenting, and the yoga teaching doubts was an epiphany: these are nice problems to have. As I posted on Facebook this morning just before diving in to coat myself in Fla-vor-ice drippings, pea juice, apple-chicken sausage whatnot, stir-fry sauce and who knows, I am certain that there are a couple billion people out there who would love to have this problem: a freezer with food. A freezer. Food.

As I shoved the bag of partially frozen ground beef into the back of the freezer praying to the Hamburger Helper gods that they have a concoction and blend of preservatives and spices which will make that meat palatable and digestible, I decided I am feeling invisible. That’s a yucky feeling. It taps all sorts of stuff deeeeeeeeeeeep inside me. But instead of pushing it aside, I’m going to have to sit with it.

I’m going to do something I’ve not usually done, which is NOT be all Pollyanna about it, even though it’s the truth, I’m not going to pat myself on the back for changing my perception about this, because the truth is I’m fucking exhausted.

I get that shit like this happens. I just could’ve used a break is all. This is the first time I’ve sat down to write for writing’s sake in a while. It’s the first time I’ve sat to do something for myself in about two weeks. I hope I entertained. I hope you learned something. I know I did.

Here comes the trash truck.

Thank you.

May1

Transcendental Frienditation

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Grass Oil by Molly Field

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What happens when you combine a love of featherfish with an artist who makes killa collages with a poem lauding the microwave and a family of five?

You get Transcendental Frienditation, and the gift of this friendship, now spanning between Northern Virginia and a little town in New Mexico has reached new heights.

I adore as you may know, the lovely and talented Lillian Connelly. The poem I wrote last week about the microwave, I wrote on the fly (as I do most of my posts; sadly, this one is sort of planned). While she liked that one enough and we had fun with it, it was the next post, the one about the featherfish that caught her eye; so much, that she fell in love with the featherfish as evidenced by many back and forth tweets on Twitter about them.

And that’s how we got started. Here is Lillian’s post about her adventure via Twitter and how she and I are collaborating: How My Ideas Grew Two Sizes That Day.

I planned to go all by myself the following Sunday morning to the Eastern Market in D.C. It’s insane to get out of the house with the kids for a planned event; a spontaneous one: fugedaboudit. When I thought I was sneaking down the stairs, I saw my husband on his computer. That was fine. Then I saw Thing 2. Thing 2 likes shopping and going places, so I knew he’d be game. That’s ok. But I really wanted to be there hassle-free: out and about, in the sun, eating a crepe without having to deal with “idonwanna” and “letsdothisinstead” coming from the back seats.

The truth is, I love my team and as much as I wanted to be alone, I really wanted them to see the fantastic experience that lies only 25 minutes away.

My thoughts and plans of leaving at 9:30 in the morning were dashed like a skiff exploding on the rocky bluffs of Ireland when Thing 1 decided he wanted to come too. That meant Thing 3 simply could not stay home alone. Despite his assertions that he would be fine alone for several hours in our house, we made him accompany us. It was on this day that his fever returned and that the amoxicillin he’d recently been prescribed stopped working on his strep throat. He was an absolute pleasure to be around.

But what started out as a solo venture, ended up becoming one of the most fantastic days my family has had together in a long time.

Upon arrival, the first order of business was to stop and get some featherfish for Lillian. Imagine my shock and awe, when we encountered this:

featherfish, featherbears, featherbirds, featherowls, feathergoats, bullfeathers…

I simply could not decide. I mean, what if she had a preference for the tortoises or the rams? So I called her, at likely 8am her time on a Sunday (you know, late) and left her a message that she did not listen to until Monday. It’s ok. I chose the fish, and I’m sure she’ll write about them. But in the meantime, she has been working on my homage collage, and I’ll let her show that to you.

So while we were purchasing the featherfish, my husband started talking to FeatherMitch, the maker of the featherthings. And um, let’s just say they got along well. “He is my long-lost brother!” Mitch said, about my husband. “You never know!” he said:

Mr. Grass Oil and FeatherMitch, long-lost brothers. Mitch has a zen that makes my own husband’s mellow ways seem like my zen, which is to say: no zen. (that little creature in front of Mitch is a featherladybug)

We spent about half an hour with featherMitch and he told us his story. I will sum it up: his grandfather left China during the revolution with nothing. He was not allowed to take his sheep or his money or his food or his clothes with him. He could only take his roll-up mattress and almost no money; China got everything. He wanted to go to Thailand. He met his eventual wife in Thailand, she too was a Chinese refugee. He stayed there and they raised a family, Mitch’s father. He married and Mitch was born. He said that his grandfather wanted to die in China, he wanted to die where he was born, but he wanted all his money to stay in Thailand. The story is a little sketchy and I have a feeling my husband will return many times to iron out the details because he has told me he has a fondness for Mitch (and honestly, who can’t?).

When Mitch was finishing his story, he looked at my oldest son. “What you want to do when you go to college?” he asked. My son stammered a little, kicked a rock, smiled, wasn’t quite ready to answer the question. Mitch had asked it so deliberately. I answered, “He likes engineering, and he loves science and math.”

“You be a doctor. Medical engineer. My daughter, I have two: one is at Columbia, getting her PhD, all she does is call me for money; and the other is at Berkeley. I don’t want them to call me anymore,” he said with no irony. “It’s expensive to live in New York, she calls me for money all the time. I tell her, ‘stop learning, get a job!’ but she’s my daughter. So I send her money.”

“You learn technology, but stay away from Facebook, iPads. Study instead. China wants you to stay on Facebook. All of us, it wants us to be all ‘waaaah waaaah woooaah…’ like zombies on the computers. That’s the only way it will win. Stay away from that. Go outside, exercise, meet people, read science and literature. Artists. Keep doing things, stay away from online talking. China will win and we will all lose,” he said very sharply and lovingly to all my sons.

“I joke with my mom that we should all learn Chinese because we will be speaking it one day when China buys the United States…” Thing 1 said.

“This is no joke.” Mitch said. “Mandarin. You and your children will speak Mandarin if we don’t get away from the iPhones and the Facebook. China loves that we love our phones. They make them and we forget we are alive when we use them.”

He was so correct. My heart sank. Here is a man who knows what China is capable of. We left him for other kiosks, but we planned to say good-bye before we left.

After featherMitch, we went to see a glass artist make pendants and watched his glass blowing demonstration:

Thing 3 was entranced. He and this artist talked so much about the pendant and heat and compared it all to the sun’s heat.

Then after that, we met another artist, Shumba Masani, who makes “canimals”: giraffes and other animals out of aluminum cans. Thing 3 saved his yoo-hoo can for him; he planned to make a turtle out of it. This artist’s works have been in the Smithsonian. He made a 6′ tall giraffe and sold it for $1,000.

This is Masani’s interview on YouTube, he’s amazing and he just sort of stumbled into his art. His lesson is important, so check it out:

I bought this little rhino from him for $20. It’s made from a can of olive oil -infused hairspray:

I suppose $20 is steep, but I’m thrilled because as Thing 3 said, I get to have an original piece of art from an artist whose other works sit in a museum. What I was most thrilled with was that my kids met him and talked to him and saw that all things are possible as long as you try and never give up.

After Masani, I found a second-hand leather backpack purse. Fully lined, “Fossil” brand and it was as soft as butter. At this kiosk, it was originally $35, but that price was scratched out and the new price was $25. I just had $23 on me. “That’ll do.” said the vendor.

“I love that it’s already got scratches on it and that it’s broken in.” I said. “It’s like a car: once you get that first ding in the door, no matter how painful it is, it’s still a car. It’s just less than perfect now. The pressure’s off to keep it pristine. Are you sure? Just twenty-three? Really?”

“Sure. Man, I like your style,” he said. “I wish more people were like you.”

I inspected the bag; it was fine inside: clean, no smells, intact. I love a bargain and I love a broken-in, butter-soft, leather backpack purse even more.

Yesterday, Thing 3 called me from school. He wasn’t feeling well. The amoxicillin had not done its job. We needed to go back to the doctor’s. While we were waiting, I opened my new backpack purse to put away my insurance cards and I looked over and saw this:

It looked like it was talking to me.

So we were having more fun in the exam room and Thing 3 asked me to take this picture:

“It said, ‘Gryffindor!’ mom, like the sorting hat from Harry Potter, but it’s a sorting bag.”

I have a sorting hat puppet. As far as I’m concerned, you can love Harry and Hermione and Ron and all those people all you want, but when I saw that sorting hat, I was sold. No one else mattered, ‘cept McGonegal. No one messes with Maggie Smith.

Lillian and I are going to embark on more homage collages; or collages with poems and make a calendar of them all for people to buy. It’s all because of the featherfish (that post is about living in the now) and the fact that I was stalled on what to make for dinner one night. The takeaway from all this is that friendship is everywhere and the gift we’ve given to each other is one of new ideas and possibilities for our work; something that will take the writer’s blech for me and give her new things to play with. But the gift she gave to me and my family is permanent and lasting and it’s those little things: taking a leap of faith on a friend and loving what comes of it, that makes it all the richer. So do it: get to know someone and collaborate.

The featherfish were packed up in a box by featherMitch waiting by my front door Monday. Taking them to the post office was also a gift, I stood in line with some of the funniest people and shared stories with them and the very clever man behind the counter. Who knew one set of featherfish could bring me this much joy?

all ready to go to new mexico!

Lillian should get them today. I can’t wait to hear from her when she opens the box. She’s so great. As it turns out, her grandmother lives near me. When she comes to visit her, we are SO going to meet featherMitch. It’ll be a reunion of people who’ve never met.

Thank you.

Dec11

Tuesday Morning Press #10: Five Fishes, Er, Wishes

Posted on December 11, 2012 by Grass Oil by Molly Field

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I’ve been tagged by those mensches (hay! look it up before you get mad at me….) over at Sadder But Wiser Girl and Modern Mama Dramas to participate in a holiday ~~fish~~ wish list. Here’s my list: Cod, Haddock, Mahi Mahi, Sea Bass and Wild Salmon. I know a joke about the first three (generic use of third breed):

After returning from a lackluster but passable outing, a fisherman husband rolls over in bed to his wife, tapping amorously for an active snuggle, hoping that she missed him as much as he missed her. She says, “I cod tuna, I have a haddock.”

Oh… it’s about wishes, not fishes. And I’m supposed to tag five bloggers, not breeds. I’m more than a little slow on the uptick today. I’ll think about the wishes, but in case I blow that, I got the fishes down.

This is the Mahi Mahi. It’s a big fish. Its game size is about as large as an average human third-grade child. I’d show pictures of them with people who’ve caught them to show scale, but I don’t have any pictures of people catching third-grade human children. Oh! the fish? No, none of those here either. I dislike glorifying those moments. I get it that we all have to eat, I just wish people weren’t so proud of killing an animal that has no thumbs or a gun or a helicopter or a boat. Y’dig?

Got it. Well, I can’t think of anything more enjoyable for you, both my readers, than sharing the love of five other bloggers. I’m going share some that I’ve not shared before: 1) my photographer, retro-music and writer friend Alastair over at Kattermonran; he’s got snow falling on his site right now (I wonder if I do too — let me know). 2) Another blogger whom I’ve recently discovered is Jasmine Kyle over at JasmineKyleSings – she’s a budding songwriter and super-optimistic person… like OFF the HOOK happy! She’s happy in a sincere and growing, not ImSoHappyICouldRobABankAndMakeYouTheGetAwayDriver happy. 3) The funny, irreverent and always entertaining LadyorNot is my third choice; check out the list of her most favored posts… you won’t be disappointed if you’ve had no choice but to deal with the hotties at the gym. 4) A writer who amazes me with her gift of turning the mundane into the horrifying or amazingly hilarious is my friend over at I Miss You When I Blink. Today’s post about rewriting “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is not for the Christmas sentimental. 5) My fifth and final blogger is the new to me and I hope you will like her too is Ado at Momalog; she’s humble, trying, gracious, funny and real.

I have about ~~16,000~~ 60 other blogs I’d love to share, but I wanted to share some wonderful unshared bloggers who’ve made time for me in their schedules and whose posts have entertained me as well. Life is challenging, this can be an extremely difficult time of year for many of us: we are missing people we love, we can be stressed out, we can be comparing ourselves to others (great phrase and it’s super short: “Compare and Despair” – I love it!), we might feel inadequate, distanced, isolated and alone. Misunderstood and disconnected.

I have only one wish to share during this crazy holiday season: That we all give ourselves the gift of being our own best friends.

Be your own best friend. It’s more important than you think.

I wish for us all to treat ourselves with grace, compassion, a friendly smile and a loving gesture. When you’re stressing, what would you say to your friend who’d be stressing? You’d tell him to relax and give himself a break; that not everything can be done at once and not everyone will be pleased all the time.

When was the last time you sat down to eat at your table by yourself with a cloth napkin and a nice meal? Do that for yourself. And then find someone at a grocery story ringing that Salvation Army bell and dump the change in your pocket in the bucket. Last year, I did this for myself: I had a civilized lunch at my kitchen table with nice music playing and a wonderful sandwich. When I was finished, I cleared my plate, got my purse and went out to run errands. I heard the bell jingling before I saw the Santa hat. Before I got out of my car, I emptied the change in my wallet and my car’s ashtray (including the paper money I’d had there all year for emergencies) into my hand. When I got out of the car, I put my change in the bucket. It felt awesome. I didn’t need it all year.

When we give love, true selfless and kind and unconditional love to ourselves, we can give so much more easily to others.

Thank you.

PS – I love to hear from you. Lots of bloggers say, “end your post with a question! engage your readers and your followers! let them know you want to hear from them!” I don’t do that always because I know you’ve got lots to do and I just appreciate your being here. I hit 400 friends yesterday on my Facebook Grass Oil fan page (link at right if you’re so inclined…) and I’m really grateful. So I want you all to know that I end every post with “Thank You” because I mean it. I’m glad you made it to the end. xoxo

Sep15

Awards! Awards! Three Posts in Won!

Posted on September 15, 2012 by Grass Oil by Molly Field

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Hello readers!

I’m back to introduce you to some of the friends I’ve made online.

They are writers, artists, imbibers, teetotalers, scoundrels and healers — every single one of ’em.

I have recently been the lucky recipient of three awards: The Liebster (again! thankew-thankew!) Award; the Versatile Blogger Award and the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Each of these awards has their own criterion and I’m supposed to let each winner know they’ve won. I’m a little overwhelmed by that and I don’t want to have both my readers resent me for glutting their inbox (were they brave enough to subject themselves to a mail subscription, you poor dears) so I’m trying to figure out a way to put each category on the same post. It might be possible.

I possess genius, so it is possible.

Wait… wait. If you’re coming to this post and looking for your award, please go back home and hide under your bed.

No, there’s gotta be a simpler way to do this… I’m sure I’m breaking all manner of rules in doing it this way, but I’m out of ideas… please read this post – especially if I linked you back to me. If you see yourself listed, feel free to participate. And if you do, click on the art and add it to your post when you recommend other bloggers. (If you have technical problems with this, please let me know.)

If not, know that I love you anyway and that I’ll always be proud of those moments we shared in biology class with the bunsen burner. My scars are almost invisible now. Yours?

Let’s get going…

Liebster Blogger Award: I was nominated for this by a tribal partner, Lillian Connelly, at It’s A Dome Life. She writes. She paints. She’s a Mom. She lives in a dome. I couldn’t be prouder and I adore her. I appreciate the honor.

The catch is, however, that it’s a chain letter wrapped in an award. It should be the other way around if it’s truly a chain letter: you get the award AFTER you submit to all the copying, inserting the dollar, addressing and stamping. I’m waiting for some sort of Internet Act to come along and prohibit these events. But in the meantime, we will push through. Thank you It’s a Dome Life for the nod!

The Rules

Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post. Go to their page and tell them.
No tag backs.

11 Facts about me

I have a thing about sharpened kitchen knives. If it is not sharp, I won’t use it. I have spent a modest sum on sharpening devices.
I like to vacuum. When I do no one comes near me. Just like when I sharpen knives. Sometimes I vacuum when the knives are sharp.
I have two cats: Gandalf the Gray and Beezer Elizabeth Googleberry Nut-head.
My dog Murphy is my best friend. He knows everything about me and won’t tell anyone.
I insist on good lighting in the kitchen. No lighting, no me.
I wrote a book over the summer. It’s sitting in a binder on my shelf. Still. Needs work.
I love Starbucks Green Tea Frappucinos; no whip.
I have a ton of exercise equipment in my house. What do I use most these days? The sculling shell at the boathouse or my yoga mat.
I love listening to comedians on the radio and my TV seldom leaves NBC.
I have two brothers, three sons and no sister or daughter.
I love lemon cake with chocolate frosting.

My 11 Questions to answer

What’s better, being an adult or being a child? Being alive.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? Do sandals and boots count or are we going strictly shoes? Less than 30.
If space travel became possible for the average person, would you go? No.
If you were given a large sum of money to donate to a charity of your choice, which charity would you choose? Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation; people make jokes about diabetes — it’s not funny, trust me.
Reality TV: Good or Bad? Good but only if you don’t watch it; then it’s terrible.
If you could be a character in a book which character would you be and why? I would be Scarlett O’Hara because we’re both moxie-filled limit-pushers.
What is the weirdest food you have ever eaten? I’d have to say the tiny squid also known as calamari.
What laundry detergent do you use? Random. I use Arm & Hammer with OxiClean boost, if you must know.
Do you think aliens exist? Yes. Just not here. That would be weird. Although I do suspect some people in my ‘hood….
Chocolate or Vanilla? Yes.
What is the worst job you have ever had? I worked for a government contractor … no that wasn’t me. I worked at a shoe store in high school and the Old Men (in their 40s!) I worked with were slimy and disgusting. They said something about “not kicking her [me] out of bed for eating crackers” and I was all like, “Why would I get kicked out of bed for eating crackers, bitches?”

My Questions for the future Liebsters:

Are you a dog, bird or cat person? Why
Favorite ice cream presentation: hard packed or soft serve? Cake cone or sugar cone?
Favorite time of day: dawn or eventide?
What do you like most in others?
What is the most frustrating part of your craft?
What do you do for exercise?
What is your favorite personal quality in yourself?
Is where you are right now in your life where you expected to be?
What would you change, if you could, about your life per your answer above?
What is the greatest sorrow you have experienced?
What is your greatest joy?

11 People I’m Awarding (in no particular rank, order or preference):

Stacie Brown – she’s a single mom working full time and getting her degree… in Texas! show this girl some love!
lifeloveandyoga – her style reminds me of my writing sometimes, ‘cept she’s more concise.
Susanne’s world – her journey is her own and she’s the queen of “ohana”; she gets what it means when we say “family.”
Storeylines – great writer, great spirit and a story or two to tell; check out her stories about her fledgling nun-dom.
Love your Movies – cool reviews and comments; and not just about new releases. Today, they’re chatting about “The Shawshank Redemption,” one of my personal favorites.
Not Blessed Mama – she defends places like Chuck E. Cheese with reason and intelligence. just don’t go on weekends.
Bucket List Publications – fun pics of what you’d do if you had a bucket list. She’s 31 and has been to 34 countries. check her out and submit your pics too….
Her Royal Wineness – she’s back writing a blog and her restrictive family has no idea this time!
Mommy Drinks Because You Cry – i love this person. she’s funny as crap. and yes, crap is funny. poor thing, she’s part of the tribe.
DeBie Hive – because we were separated at birth. tribe member… i love her.
Good Geek Ranting – because he’s hilarious and out of the boxy; you need hilarious and out of the boxy. You just do.

Happy Liebstering! Winners: Click on the image above and paste into your post (should you decide to write one). And you can put it as a badge on your blog. Please don’t hate me!

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Versatile Blogger Award: Again, I’d like to thank the lovely Lillian Connelly at It’s A Dome Life for this honor. She’s a sweetie! 🙂 If you haven’t checked her out yet, do. She’s an amazing artist. I mean, like …. amazing and she mostly taught herself which to me is cosmically unfair. She reminds me of what we can do when we have a pencil, some time and patience.

I also think she was really including me in this (as an extra credit bonus) because if there’s one thing I am, it’s versatile, which is: adaptable, flexible, all-around, multifaceted, multitalented, resourceful; adjustable, multipurpose, all-purpose, handy; rare polytropic. I also think it’s a really nice way of saying I’m completely random. Which is sorta like life, now ain’t it?

How It Works:

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.
Thank the blogger who nominated you and include a link to their site.
Copy and paste the award to your blog.
Share 7 random facts about yourself.
Nominate 15 bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly and include a link to their site.
Let the other Bloggers know that you have nominated them.

So now I am supposed to tell you seven random facts about myself, so here goes:

When Lillian disclosed that she had a box full of cards and personal memorabilia in her basement, she reminded me that I do too and that I wish to have mine completely untouched and cremated with me after I die.
I get bent out of shape every once in a while (read: frequently) about the lack of ecological awareness everywhere and that people STILL use bottled water…
I still have a pair of rollerblades in my closet.
I plan to wear my GPS watch during an entire day to see how much I walk around and do on this planet on a typical day.
I have two cats (I told you about them above) and I like one way more than the other. One is nice, the other’s a dick.
My favorite color is periwinkle.
I have an affection for anything green tea scented, flavored, or colored; I love the smell of fresh cut grass.
I want to decoupage my powder room in The New Yorker covers; the illustrated girl on the cover from my birthday in 2006 looks like me (and yes, I would manage to get my luggage trapped in a revolving door)*:

*This one is for extra credit. (Lillian did an extra credit one, I wanted to too)

Here are 11 Bloggers (the original is 15, but I’m consolidating 3 posts / 3 awards into one post, so I get to say how this goes down) I Nominate because of their versatility and awesomeness:

August McLaughlin – she’s a writer’s writer, former (should still be, she’s gorgeous) model, and she knows a lot about nutrition. I’m hooked.
Clotilda Jamcracker – just go to her; she’s amazing and her ability to turn a story from one incident into another is a delightful thing to witness. with a name like “Clotilda Jamcracker” you can’t lose… you know this.
Happiness in this World – a buddhist physician who’s seeking out happiness in America. ’nuff said; he’s publishing a book this fall, The Undefeated Mind; I’ve been following Dr. Lickerman for about three years; he’s pretty cool and swift.
Health Demystified – another medical / health fitness resource. Eric is a doctoral candidate in pharmacology this year.
The Weiler Psi – woo-woo stuff, very cool, about psychics and skeptics and woo-woo.
The Truth Warrior – Right now, he’s probably still in Spain after being let go from his job a couple months ago. He decided to live the life he has; check him out. I hope we’ll hear back from him soon.
…the lucky one… – and she is. I know Elisa personally and she’s an inspiration to me daily. She’s like 15 minutes old and she’s already achieved so much. Elisa for president (when she’s old enough) – she is about to launch a holistic food and wellness company… check her out.
Peevish Penman – they are writers who write about writing in a way that makes you want to write even if you think you can’t. The current post, “Are You a Real Writer?” is ha-ha-hilarious.
Plucky Chicken Heart – Mari is a funny lady who won my heart with her cartoony periwinkle cat; now she’s into graffiti-ing pages out of vintage editions of Dickens; she’s a gal after my own plucky heart, what can I say?
hovercraftdoggy – these people barely use words but their pics are cool and design-y. fun, whimsical and uplifting images.
Stuff Worth Talking About – Doug Kleeman won me over with his post, “The Limitations of ‘Like’” – he’s got a good bead on how media and branding shape our world; if you’re asleep on this subject, don’t worry: Doug’s not.

Enjoy your rewards, people! I hope you can convince the people in your life how special you are and that you deserve celebrity status today. Put the button on your blog with pride.

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And last but not least (in the least)

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award (Keeping the Blogosphere a Beautiful Place) : This one goes back to last month when the lovely Stacie Brown (from above – I’m just cutting and pasting as it’s 9:42pm my blah blah time and I’m about ready to take blah blah hostages on this post: Stacie Brown – she’s a single mom working full time and getting her degree… in Texas! show this girl some love!…) was kind enough to blah blah nominate me. And she was. And she still is kind enough! I’m just sorta beat… I’ve been at this on and off since 11am and well, here are the winners I nominate and I love them all blah blah because I compiled this list about 8 hours ago, so I still mean it when I list them!

Here are the rules:

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award is an award given out by people who got one themselves and they give it out to 10 people again and so on…ok this sounds a bit confusing, but read on and you will get it To accept the award you have to follow some steps. They are:

Link back to the person who nominated you (yep done)
Post the award image to your page (done!)
Tell seven facts about yourself (see below)
Nominate 10 other blogs (see below) — JUST TEN!?! I’VE BEEN RESCUED!
Let them know they are nominated

I’ll start with the 7 facts:

Well, wouldn’t ya know it…? I’ve already done the random facts that this award requests and I’ve done the questions. So… let’s get to the heart of the matter, shall we?

Tempo Life Coaching – Carrie is simply cool. She’s a triathlete, a life coach, a mom and a realist. That’s the hottest part of all.
CarrTalks – Jody has been a good friend and mentor to me. She is a published writer, an empath and an intuitive. She has spirit guides (we all do) but she is in communication with hers … and yours if you ask her about them.
Oneanna65 – cancer survivor and funny, grateful writer. She’s great – her attitude is the best: smile smile smile and truth truth truth.
Peggy Arvidson – I’ve known Peggy for about three years. I met her at a Hallowe’en event nearby and she won me over the moment we met; she’s a life coach, she’s also an intuitive and a non-predictive palmist. She knew me a long time ago… we’re sure of it.
Five Little Monkeys – Sarah’s got this writing gig down. She’s a part of my tribe, she’s got a big heart and a positive attitude and FIVE CHILDREN. her oldest is a teenager. Yay… Check her out!
Craughing – “craughing” is the act of crying and laughing simultaneously or y’know close enough in time. if you know the craughing blog already, you’ll know how beautiful and vulnerable she is. If not, you’ll see: she’s got the heart of a lion and the touch of a dove. She’s seen some crazy shit in her life and she’s here to tell us life goes on.
Breathing Space – If I look this good when I’m a grandmother, I’m gonna be so psyched! She’s awesome and she’s all over the map. I dig that. You will too.
Journal of Gorzyisms – She is a traveler, a single mom of a newly teenage son, a vlogger and an artist. She has some cool pics you should check out. And I think she likes orange…
The Winy Child, Inc. – check him out. He’s the real deal: little kid, inspired by Garfield has created his own comicblog.
Oh Boys! – Megan is a mom of two little guys; her posts remind me of the old days and I figure I am proof she can do it…