The world has come to an end.

My world, at least.

My obsession, Vincent D’Onofrio, as Detective Bobby Goren on “Law & Order: Criminal Intent,” has been exhausted.

I just did a search for him, y’know to stalk find him. And here’s what I thought I’d share: he’s #3 in the search…

Ask Kelly at DeBie Hive, go ahead… she knows: I’m freakin’ in love with that man. I don’t talk about it very often here. Because if I did, it’d be all I talk about.

There’s old school, Columbo (whom I also adore):

So I bought a kitchen timer for my kids. To get them off the computer. I just asked my husband to set it so we would know when the lasagne I just made was cool and ready to eat. The timer? It didn’t tell me, “dinner’s done” it didn’t tell me, “time to get off the computer” it told me, “this timer’s broken.” It sounded like this: *brrdeping*.

And then there’s newer than old school.

Back to Vincent.

We have our DVR set to record all episodes, up to 7 of Criminal Intents no matter the network, a day. I love cop shows; but not cop shows with a ton of relationship crap going on. I want the sweaty perps, the fidgety suspects and this:

Since the kids were home sick from school, I’ve managed to completely ignore the laundry, yet catch up on every recorded episode of Criminal Intent while they hunkered down with me on the sofa to watch:

• The one about the Catholic priest with the psychopathic meth-addict son (yes, you read right) who was seeking his birth mother so he could kill her;
• The one about the Austrailian media mogul who married an Asian woman much to the chagrin of his children, one of whom he killed and then he disparaged said wife;
• The one about the effete rich European socialite of unspecified origin art collector/wine critic who sipped his last in his cellar tasting a rare Romanée Conti* bordeaux, the combination of which with a laced cigar caused him to die;
• The one with the rich college-age kid who was stuffed in a trunk outside a church by a bunch of Santorians but was left with a flashlight because he was afraid of the dark…
• *I just made that up; I have no clue what vintner it was… but it WAS a bordeaux.

Really? ‘Cause I can go on… and on…  It got so cute that my youngest, Thing 3 said to me, “it’s OK mommy, you can watch Criminal Intent… I’m not afraid of the murders.” I yell at the TV.

Bad news: we are all caught up. And the boys are back at school.

That means I have two options:

1) get amnesia (sorry, no – too late).

2) watch Richard Belzer on Law & Order SVU:

or 3) (I know I said I had two options): Watch this guy…

That can be arranged. I can go a few years without an D’Onofrio to watch Mr. Meloni while my gray matter atrophies. Who said that?

There is always Netflix where there is always Columbo. When all the followers have been exhausted, we go back to the beginning.

Thank you.

Ok… one more:

And yes, I am totally jealous of this person: http://thehairpin.com/2011/10/the-best-time-i-met-vincent-donofrio – a fun read.