To: You, both my readers

From: Me, technologically ennui-filled ambitious and conflicted author

Date: July 13, 2012

Subject: Dare I tweet? Does it Help?

Team Grass Oil:

I am at a point where I have written a first draft of a novel.  I have much more to write.  I know this.  I accept this as my mission and I am prepared to do whatever I can to

See, that’s where it stops.

I guess I’m not ready yet.  I have a best friend who is a published author.  Tracy Kiely.  She writes mystery novels and they’re great.  Funny, sharp, whimsical and like Tracy, elegant.  She has wanted to be a writer since before she was born and she is a writer.  To me, whether she is published or not, she is a Writer.  But she is published and now she is a busy writer: traveling, promoting, writing more, interviews, book clubs, author readings, book signings and all that.  She is my hero.  I have known her for a long time.  She won’t let me say how long any more.  She has been a champion of mine as long as I’ve known her.  She and I have a shorthand that spares hours (even though we are on the phone for hours when we manage to carve out a weekend to “chat”).  I don’t know if I’ve ever told her she’s my hero (or maybe I have, but I swear I’ve never sung it to her). I want her to know that I love her and think she’s just that cat’s pajamas.  OK, enough emotional stuff, I need to get to the point.

Tracy tweets. She’s not on Facebook too often which is fine because she’s writing, but she does have an author page.  I haven’t asked her about the tweeting; I will.  So stop rolling your eyes …

Other authors tweet. I’ve been asked if I’m on twitter twice.

That was funny.  Let me try that in an alliterative style: two tweeters talked of tweeting twice. Now three times. Now faster!

People who are not authors tweet.  Snookie tweets, what the what is that all about?

• ouch. lycra and spandex have limits #inexplicablyfamous

I think teenagers tweet.  About what?

• Stuckonhighway #needgas
• thisfrappucinosucks #needgas
• mommadetunacasseroleagain #needgas
• can’tstandmyexbestfriend #needgas

Or the butcher:

• nystriponsale13 per lb bring your own bags. #freshmeat

Or maybe Superman tweets:

• need SPF 3000 or better lead shield #sunisstrongerthankryptonite

The thing is: if I write and finish this book that I started last month and farm it out to an agent who then shops it to a publisher … (quick, get me the smelling salts, i’m about to get the vapors) and let’s say people buy it and then they tell friends and all of a sudden I’m eating fois gras at the Plaza and Ashton Kutcher asks me for my autograph and then Steven Spielberg tells me he wants ME to star as Miriam in my soon-to-be directed film adaptation about Miriam where she gets abducted by hip abductor muscles and she can only walk laterally… too late, i passed out. 

Anyway, the point is: should I tweet? People say it’s more effective than Facebook and the point of writing the book is to get people to read it … so? I dunno… I guess I could always quit it.  Yeah. ‘Cause that’s what I do… I quit things.  I’m laughing.  My kids are laughing at that.  The dog, he just started laughing. No, I don’t quit. I just dial back.  When I quit something, it’s forever.

I would LOVE to hear from you about this.  I have no clue.  Really.  I feel it’s sorta tapping into that “don’t garner attention” gene of mine. Gah! What a conflict!  I HATE ATTENTION! but then why do i do this?! Really? I just checked my stats: no one is reading this. Like three people are reading this post. So … once again this is a problem in my own brain.

Here’s one: Grass Oil tweets! #conflicted about attention

Thank you.

UPDATE: well, that ennui lasted all of 48 hours. i ended up opening a Twitter account. you can follow me if thou wishest: @mollyfieldtweet – lucky you! 🙂