we’ve all been there. trying to act smug and steer it anyway. ikea has the worst ones.

so today, i went to Costco. we’re out of mayonnaise and toilet paper. don’t ask. (i happen to be listening to Pandora’s 80s mix right now and New Order’s “Leave Me Alone” just came on. New Order… does it get any better than them? i mean really. ….)

ok. back to Costco. so i park my massiveMobile (Costco does have great parking lots, i have to say). i get out my eco-shopping bags, my freezer bags, my Costco card, because they won’t let you in there without one. try it. the little retired ladies, former librarians probably, at the double-wide front doors with their red vests will throw you down faster than you can say “banana split.” if they can’t click that headcount clicker tallying Members Through The Door you may as well…